The "ism" of Criticism -- part 4

Today we will complete our discussion of the topic of criticism, and particularly destructive criticism, by considering a few more ideas about the topic.

First of all we should all recognize that criticism will come our way during our life’s journey, and it will most likely come more than once! How we manage these attacks of critical words about us is what is most important.

Criticism can delay us, but it does not have to stop us.  Criticism has the ability to hurt us personally, but it does not have to wound us forever.  Sometimes criticism can just be part of the process of our endeavors to fulfill God-given vision.

When criticism comes our way, we should recognize it, learn what we need to learn quickly from it and then keep moving in a forward direction towards the things the Lord has placed on our hearts.

I don’t know if you have noticed but some people are always critical. Yes, that is true.

They are never happy or pleasant.  They expect disappointment. 

They look for something to be wrong or go wrong.  They arrogantly judge.

They are easily provoked.  They are always angry.

Going a bit further with these thoughts, why do people criticize? Why do they walk in destructive criticism towards others? Here are a few possible reasons.

1. They actually have a critical spirit.

• They are critical by their very nature.
• Their perspective of life and of others is flawed because they see everything through their critical spirit.
• Take for example a man with dirty glasses. If he takes them off and cleans them, as he puts them back on his whole perspective changes. What he saw was unclear and off because he was looking through imperfect lenses.

2. They do not know the whole story about the situations they are criticizing. Their point of view is not accurate because they don’t see the whole picture.

• They need to put themselves in the other person’s shoes.
• Attempting to understand other people’s points of view will often quench the fires of criticism and give new perspective.

3. They want to feel better about themselves so they criticize others to feel superior.

• Remember that Saul tried to destroy David to keep his position of power.
• Jealousy and comparison caused Saul to want to damage someone else.

4. They find that it is easier to complain than to actually solve a problem.

• Blaming others for difficult situations is easier that putting forth the effort to resolve those situations.
• I am sure you have heard the phrase, “All talk but no action.”

5. And finally, they will often be critical of someone who is living a godlier life than they are living.

• 2 Timothy 3: 12 (NKJV) Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.
•  John 15: 25 (NKJV) Jesus said, “But this happened that the word might be fulfilled which is written in their law, ‘They hated Me without a cause.’”

The world we live in today seems to thrive on criticism and judgment.

• Television gets viewers by highlighting negative news.
• There is ever growing prejudice and criticism against Christians.
• Social media makes it so easy to criticize as people judge and critique from behind a screen and keyboard.

But for us as believers, the Bible tells us to get the log (the destructive criticism) out of our own eye!

Matthew 7: 1-5 (NKJV)

Judge not, that you be not judged. ² For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. ³ And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? ⁴ Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? ⁵ Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Have you noticed yet that we often criticize what we actually are or how we actually behave ourselves? For example, we don’t like how someone talks and we offer criticism about that. Maybe we first need to check our own speech!

The Bible tells us that others will know us by our LOVE. So in very practical ways, how can we demonstrate that LOVE to others and not be vessels of criticism and negative words?

1.  Encourage others.

1 Thessalonians 5: 11 (NKJV) -- Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.

2. Build up others.

Hebrews 10:  22-25 (NKJV) -- ²² Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. ²³ Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. ²⁴ And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, ²⁵ not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

3.  Have a heart to restore others.

Galatians 6: 1 (NKJV) -- Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

4. Pray for one another.
5. Express love to one another.

Ephesians 4: 15 (NKJV) -- But speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—

6. Don’t be rash with your mouth. A fool has many things to say!

Ecclesiastes 5: 2-3 (NKJV) -- Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God.  For God is in heaven, and you on earth, therefore let your words be few. ³ For a dream comes through much activity,  and a fool’s voice is known by his many words.

7.  Listen to instruction and correction – and get wiser!

Proverbs 15: 31-33 (NKJV) -- The ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise. ³² He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding. ³³ The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility.

Proverbs 10: 19 (NKJV) -- In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.

So as we close our discussion on this topic, how should we respond to criticism?

1. Don’t pull back or shut down. Criticism has an impact but we cannot let it get to us. Let’s choose to use the experience to check ourselves and to grow.
2. Don’t fight back. We can’t allow ourselves to get into a power struggle and try to defend and justify ourselves with those who destructively criticize us. Counter attacks always make things worse. Instead we should learn to listen and hold our tongues.
3. Find the truth and learn from it.
4. Attempt to discern the source of the criticism, the root cause.

•  Is it an insecure boss?
•  Is it a need to be in control?
•  Is it from low self-esteem?
•  Is it jealousy?

5. Finally, detach yourself from the critical destructive situation if needed. Step away. Count to 100. Refuse to participate. Aristotle said that to avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing and be nothing.

Mothers of Nations, I pray that these blog entries about the “Ism of Criticism” have been helpful to you as you navigate and pursue your individual God-given assignments. Don’t let destructive criticism stop you from achieving all you can in God’s kingdom. The Lord needs you and so do all those in your sphere of influence.

Blessings to each of you,

Dr. Sharon Predovich