No Anger Stew For Me! -- part 2

Today we will continue with our discussion of the theme “No Anger Stew for Me!”  If you did not read last week’s introduction to this current topic, I suggest you do that first before moving on with today’s entry.

As we stated last week, the emotion of anger is almost always triggered by a situation or a cue that sets off negative thoughts in our mind. Let’s continue our theme and look at more of those triggers that could start creating an anger stew in our lives.

Imitation: At times we may be tempted to pick up someone else’s offense, thus imitating their emotions in our own hearts and minds. Picking up offenses is most certainly an ingredient that can be part of one’s anger stew. We are reminded of this in Proverbs 22: 24. “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go.”

We must be aware that even our friends can try to pull us into their own offenses, and this is dangerous. Angry people can present as being calm when talking to you, but inside they can be stewing with unhealthy emotions.

It is highly important that we do not pick up someone else’s anger. Remember Potiphar? When Joseph refused Potipher’s wife’s advances towards him, she falsely accused Joseph of attempted rape. Upon hearing these charges, Potiphar picked up her offense and immediately removed Joseph as servant and sent him to prison. Potipher didn’t have all the facts of the situation she presented to him and he didn’t ask for clarification either. He just started to stew on her offenses and what happened? Joseph was sent to prison.

Another trigger or ingredient that can create anger stew in our lives is frustration. What is frustration? It is the feeling or emotion of being upset or annoyed, especially because of an inability to change or achieve something. Frustration manifests as exasperation, annoyance, irritation, resentment, disappointment and yes, anger.

Small frustrations can build and compound as we focus on them until we experience anger. Do any of these scenarios ring true for you?

• The kids don’t do the dishes as you asked and you start to stew.
• Their rooms are not being regularly cleaned and this adds to your stew.
• The assigned yardwork is ignored and the unmown lawn jumps in your stewpot.
• You look around the house that you just cleaned yesterday and it’s a mess again. Your anger stew has now come to a boil!

Have you been there? I have. It is a challenge and an opportunity for much personal growth not to allow small frustrations to move us to a place of anger. Proverbs 17: 14 reminds us of this:  The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.

Ah, the wisdom of the book of Proverbs. Let’s endeavor to allow the truth of God’s Word to deflate and even erase all the small frustrations of life that come our way so we can declare daily, “No more anger stew for me!”

Mothers of Nations, let me encourage you to search out more possible triggers or cues that come our way to push us to the kitchens of our minds to begin cooking pots of anger stew. Please take some time to explore some of these possibilities.

• The demonic: Thoughts come to attack our mind and we are pressed with all types of negative emotions. If we succumb to the attacks, we lose control and anger stew grips us.
• Genetic predisposition: Is there something in our genetic makeup that might predispose us to yielding to anger? Testosterone? Hormonal imbalance? Understanding our personal genetic makeup is helpful when anger stew wants to manifest in our lives.
• Cultural expectations: We all have basic cultural expectations that can influence our emotions and ways of thinking. As believers, our truth is God’s Word, and applying that truth can sometimes confront cultural traditions and expectations. Let’s be aware of this and not allow those confrontations to start a pot of stew!
• Physical, social, and verbal abuse: Abuse will eventually lead to responses of hurt, pain, anger and rage. Abuse is a common ingredient in anger stew.
• Feelings of entitlement: These feelings can certainly lead to the creation of anger stew in our lives. You owe me a job. You owe me a raise. You owe me a long life and no problems. Really?  
• Fear or anxiety: Fear of rejection is a common ingredient in anger stew. We must learn to reject fear and continually position ourselves in our Father’s love. Even Jesus’ brothers rejected him. They thought he was crazy. Let’s choose to not pick up fear or allow it to start anger stew simmering in our lives.
• Things, that’s right, just the “things” of life that come our way: a phone call, a repeated negative comment, an unfinished project, a correction from someone, a look, etc. All of these “things” can add up and want to be part of an anger stew in our lives if we let them.

But no anger stew for me! No anger stew for you! No anger stew for us today or any day!

Next week we will conclude our discussion with a few more thoughts. Until then, no anger stew!

Dr. Sharon Predovich