Facing Conflict -- part 2

Last week we started a discussion on the topic of Facing Conflict. If you did not read through last week’s entry, I would encourage you to do that first before you move on with today’s discussion.

Have you noticed that people react to conflict in diverse ways? Let’s look at six different responses to conflicts as they arise.

1.  Some people just give in to the conflict. This is actually compromise as they make peace with their enemy. Of course, this is not a good method to respond to conflict. Remember, the devil is never fair.
2.  Some people run from conflict. For example we see from the life of the prophet Elijah that he literally ran from Jezebel. He was tired and weary and felt he had no strength to face that Jezebel that was in his face. How about Jonah? He also ran from the Lord rather than facing the conflict in front of him.
3.  Some people look to other sources of help rather than looking to God. They may consult with witches, tarot cards, fortune tellers, or false gods. Obviously, none of these are quality choices of assistance with conflict!
4.  Some people try to avoid conflict by freezing up and not trying to move forward through it. Again, this is not a productive response to conflict.
5.  Some people choose to fight conflict in their own strength without thinking rationally. They allow their emotions to rule their responses and all kinds of damage can occur.
6.  And the best way to react to conflict? Face it and look to God for strength and wisdom in doing so.

Mothers of Nations, as followers of Christ we are encouraged to face conflict. Here are some Scriptures that direct us in how we can face conflict God’s way.

Hebrews 11 -- Face conflict with faith in God.

James 4: 8 (NKJV) – Face conflict by drawing close to God.

⁸ Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Numbers 13: 32-33 – Maintain confidence in God’s ability.

³² And they gave the children of Israel a bad report of the land which they had spied out, saying, “The land through which we have gone as spies is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people whom we saw in it are men of great stature. ³³ There we saw the giants (the descendants of Anak came from the giants); and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.”

The analogy of being like “grasshoppers” is interesting. Grasshoppers have poor vision and they jump all over the place, often to deadly conclusions. They perceive wrong, looking from the body up and they also make too much noise. As we face conflicts in our own lives, let’s not face them like grasshoppers!

We also must face conflict with a “different spirit.”  This is living by a perspective of faith in all we encounter. Sometimes it means going against the crowd and rejecting fears that try to attach to our vision and purpose. It might mean making “unpopular” choices but choices that are God’s will and Scripturally based rather than choices that go along with the supposed norm. Finally a “different spirit” perspective could reflect peculiar or non-ordinary thinking, out of the box responses to various conflicts we encounter.

As we face conflicts head on we most certainly will need to check our attitudes. When the pressures of conflict arise, how do we respond? Hopefully not with any of these carnal attitudes! They could include complaining, wavering, losing sight of God’s promises, jealousy, petty ideas and petty decisions, etc.

So then, what should characterize our attitudes as we face conflict? We must be both faith talkers and faith walkers. We need to fight opposition with faith and belief in God and in the promises of His Word. As we face conflict we should always be aware of the enemy’s ploys of doubt and fear. Finally, don’t be swayed by public opinion but rather stand firm in the truth of God’s Holy Word.

So as we close our discussion of Facing Conflict, let’s take a moment to specifically think about how we should respond in a Godly way to conflicts we might face with other people -- our friends, family, coworkers, etc. Here are a few suggestions.

1.  Talk to the person.
2.  Choose a good place and time to meet to discuss the problem.
3.  Watch that you do not accuse, blame, assault, or pick out faults as you talk.
4.  Intentionally listen and hear what the other person is saying.
5.  Be present in the discussion.
6.  Talk things out.
7.  Earnestly try to find a resolution to the issue at hand.

Endeavoring to resolve conflict is never a pleasant task, but when issues can amicably be settled, the results are rewarding most certainly. If you find yourself in conflict in any of the ways we have discussed over these past two weeks, I encourage you to face the situation and find a Godly solution.

Blessings to you,

Dr. Sharon Predovich